to her

It’s late. Like 1am late.

We light up cigarette’s and pour glasses of wine.

We each take turns griping about our lives-kids, husbands, girlfriends, work, bills. We each nod while the other speaks and mostly agree with whatever the other is saying. Sometimes there is a bit of tension as one of us might disagree with what the other is saying. But at the end of the glass (or glasses) of wine and the multiple smokes we always walk away knowing that we love each other. That we will always be there for each other. And that when we sit down over wine and cigarettes again it will be the same.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

-Elbert Hubbard

And then somewhere along the road the late night talks get further apart. And we both get busy-sometimes too busy.

But we still find the time for quick text messages back and forth. And when we can fit it in we find time to sit down with each other. It’s not always easy-but we make it work. Our hearts seem to just know when the other needs us and so we rely on that silent “bat-signal” of sorts to push us to contact the other.

Then one day that bat-signal gets silenced. Maybe it’s because there is so much going on in our hearts, our minds, our lives that it’s just hard to hear that small and silent signal. I blame you. You blame me. And neither of us wants to be the first to reach out. I would guess we both feel pain. We both are hurting-and we both are scared.

I want to say that I don’t care

that we aren’t friends anymore

but I really, really do.

I’m sorry I pushed you away

and I’m sorry I never got around to apologizing

because I don’t think it’s my fault

and neither was it yours.

We grew apart


you stopped trying

and so did I too.

And I keep telling myself it’s okay I lost you

and that I will meet a million different people in my life time

it’s just deep down I know that

I won’t ever meet anyone like you.

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